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I'm getting tired of all these crashes, there's nothing I wouldn't do just to be whole again, just to feel free and happy like I've always been all of this time that we were. I'm a trainwreck I know and for someone like you is just impossible to stay with me now or ever, I can't make it work because now I'm too tired of show to you reasons to stay, if this is what you really want, that's all right, that's ok, I need to face it, I need to learn a new way to survive or maybe a new way to try to die, because all those pills don't even make me cry, and I'm not into blades anymore, I smoked a lot of pot and then nothing...
Yesterday I was thinking about life and then I finally saw myself. I am nothing, nothing special, just too ordinary, I'm not pretty enough, lovely enough, worthy, healthy enough, I'm a fucking chaos ready to explode anytime and I got it. This is probably what is best for you. I can understand you, and you really wanna know ? If I was you I would do the same. You're right. I know you're right. Fucking right.
I'm a mess, only sadness, tears, some punk make up, red lips and nothing right, I am a mess, I'm the worst thing that could ever happen to you and today I realize it, and oh Lord, I feel so sorry for all the shits I put you through, all the things you meant to me, you did for me and all I can give back is my loneliness that once make you cry.
I'm a stupid person with a stupid heart. I'm not the right one. I'm just someone that never felt right, never felt confident enough to make someone happy, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. For being a waste of time, not only for you, for my friends, for my parents, for my family. I'll never be the person you all think I am, and every night this thought makes my heart just boom! It's hard to do, it's hard just to breathe can you imagine stay here ? I've been planning something, and this time I'm sure that all my effords won't be in vain.
I'll be fine.

In the end.

There's all those neon lights in the sky shinning.